Author: Chantal Murphy, Founder
I get many people asking me when is the right time to make the transition from cot to a big bed. My advice is to hold out for as long as possible and wait until your child is at least 2.5 years of age. Typically, a child younger than two is not developmentally or emotionally ready to sleep in a regular bed.
Moving to a toddler bed TOO EARLY is often the #1 cause of toddler sleep issues. However, by 2½ year of age, their comprehension skills will be a lot more advanced and they will be able to comprehend and understand what is expected of them. Transferring too early may bring new bedtime battles and sleepless nights for everyone.
If you have a child that is climbing out of the cot, you may want to pop them into a sleeping bag so they can’t get their leg up and over the cot bars (in some cases you may need to put the sleeping bag on backwards - so Houdini can’t undo it)
Below are some tips for a smooth transition:
- Pick your timing. Avoid moving your child into a big bed when they are already experiencing other changes in their life such as toilet training, moving house, illness, a new sibling etc.
- Ensure you already have a regular bedtime routine in place and continue to follow this when you make the transition.
- Communicate and let your child know what is happening. Explain that they will be sleeping in a ‘big boy/girl’ bed and make a point of showing them other friends and family, who also sleep in big beds.
- Let your child help pick out their new sheets and a bed covers for their new bed as this empowers them, making them feel part of the decision-making process.
- Involve your child in setting up their new bed and packing up the cot, along with planning and decorating their new ‘big kid’ bedroom.
- Create a reading nook for bedtime stories to take place, you don’t want to start laying/sitting down with them on their new bed, as they may start to associate you with them in their bed and you may find it hard to break away.
- Reward charts let’s your child know of how excited and proud of them you are. Praise them for being a big boy/girl and making the move. Reward charts go a long way with toddlers! Continue to offer praise and encouragement throughout the process and tell your toddler how proud you are of them now sleeping in a big boy/girl bed.
Other tips:
- White noise
- Dark room
- Ensure your toddler takes their comforter to bed
- A Gro clock may be useful for early morning rising
- Night lights may be needed if your toddler is showing signs that he/she is scared. (be sure to use a pink/orange night light)
Dealing with stalling or coming out of the bedroom….
- Ultimately, bedtime stalling can be a discipline & behavioural matter.
- Your toddler needs to learn to obey you at bedtime, the same way you would expect him to obey you during the day.
- If your child tries stalling before bedtime, for example “I want a drink, I need a wee” etc. try to identify if these requests are genuine and try to cover off any requests prior to going into the bedroom for bed. The key to success is to remain strong, firm and consistent as your child will pull at any strings to gain attention and string out the bedtime process. Try to remain calm and keep your voice soft and avoid eye contact while you tend to the situation. Do not seem angry, try to remain neutral and dull. Your child is looking for a reaction either good or bad and when they do not get a reaction, the novelty soon wears off.
- If your child gets out of bed, immediately help your child back into their bed and tell them that you will be back in 5 minutes to check on them. We strongly encourage you to go back and check on your child, however each time you check on them, increase the amount of time you are out of the room. Repeat this process until your child settles and falls asleep. We usually recommend that you do not enter a negotiation battle with them and calmly walk them back to bed and tuck them in. If this fails, there are alternate options and tips in the toddler package on how to manage this.
- If your toddler consistently comes out of their bedroom overnight and you feel you have tried everything else, an option can be to install a “baby gate” at their door (leaving their door open).
- Keep in mind this is a big transition for parents too!
- Most important of all, be firm, patient and consistent!
Transferring early
If you have already transferred and bedtime has started to fall apart you may like to opt for a Baby gate to be installed. If you have someone handy around, you could look at creating something similar to the image below, which becomes a safe space for your child to sleep in.
